Over the pass weekend Chief Young and the Grand Imperial Poobah of the Loyal Order of Chiefs, Chief Boyce ventured down to headquarters for a preconvention beer fest. While the chiefs were on scene at headquarters they received a call about a cat in the tree.  But it was not exactly a cat.
   They received a call about a Large Exotic Tropical Bird that got out and was up in a tree. The owner was worried because the wings were clipped and the bird could hardly fly. So the dispatch went out, Chief Young and Chief Boyce responded in the Chiefs Mobile making so much noise in the chief’s vehicle. It drove hundreds of people out into the streets. When the chiefs arrived on the scene. The worried Bird owned Mr. Galikanokus runs out of the house to beg us to get his bird down.  Chief Boyce looked at the man and said, "No problem, we will get him down. I just dispatched my Sniper." I thought the entire crowd  was going to die laughing and that we would have to transport the Mr. Galikanokus for shock. Needless to say, Chief Young easily climbed the step ladder and retrieved the bird.

A tuff day for Chief George Almond the past Tuesday when his Upper Darby Home was raided by members of the SWAT team for suspected terrorist activity. It seems the Chief and his attorney The Honorable Youstep Myfoot along with a engineer from Playstool were observed by the local Town Watch entering the chiefs home Tuesday. Many of you may remember Youstep from Georges unfortunate but fun incident back in April of 2007, if not look it up in 2007 news as it is worth a read. It seems Chief Almond was in his home discussing his idea for the new "Rubik's Cube, The Smoke Detector version" when two Town Watch members looking in Georges window mistook Georges idea for a bomb. The local SWAT team was called in who raided Georges home and took all three in for questioning and a beating. After it was discovered that the item in question was not a bomb but just a really fun smoke detector, the Chief was taken to a local hospital for x-rays and released with a vouchers for two Big Mac's and a small Coke and dropped at Mickey D's. The where abouts of Youstep and the engineer were still not known at this time but the crew from Engine 36 who were on standby at the scene still can not stop laughing and had two great Halloween outfits for this years Fireman's Ball this October. We hope Chief Almond is feeling better soon, not from the beating, but the Mickey D's late night menu did not sit so well with George....

I decided to pull the Bad Boy out and show the young bucks how it's done. Lansdowne's 1954 Mack. The question of the day was " how do you work one on these Jones Snap's? Can you believe it !

My guess is pushing 1600 GPM on the Stang gun!

The long awaited 2010 IAFFC Board of Defectors meeting was recently held the first week of May at Fake Fire Headquarters. The meeting was delayed pending the outcome of charges pending with Canadian authorities against Vice President Dan Byrnes. Chief Byrnes was arrested in a French Canadian providence of Displacesuk near Quebec City after refusing to have "French Fries" with his meal. He was arrested on the spot and a local Judge eating in the same establishment literately threw the book at Chief Byrnes, splitting the chief's left eye open and ruining a great hamburger platter. Charges were dropped after very long negotiation with the U.S. Consulate & Canadian authorities after Chief Byrnes was extricated to Canada and that countries refusal to accept him. Chief Byrnes was found at the No Tell Hotel at the border in Buffalo. In a statement released to the local news Chief Byrnes said "No worries and I slept like a baby".  Of course to IAFFC members means he cried in his sleep and wet the bed. During the meeting many important items were brought to the table and I am glad to say we ate and drank everything.

The search for the 2010 Double Secret Convention Scouts was key and we have already accept application for the five positions. Please submit any other possible agents to Board.  The scouts will infiltrate the local Wildwood area looking for pertinent location issues ( Bar's & Bathroom's) for the Chiefs to meet & greet. Tentative Scouts coming to mind were of course past  2009 agent  Chief Shelly Zoup who is recovering from a tragic accident at the April IAFFC Golf outing, no explanation needed... A Junior IAFFC Member Kit T. Witty Jr. who seems to have what it takes, Chief Jim "Prostate" Bear came to mind and the Kung Fu Kitties from our Tokyo Chapter. We are not sure if Board Chairman Chief Russel was attempting to make a motion to table the issue on appointing agents or he was having a seizure, but we all had a great laugh and we moved to table  the agent issue until Chief Russel is released for the hospital.

Please mark down the dates for this years convention September 17th & 18th in Wildwood New Jersey host by the World Famous Five Mile Beach Fireman's association who do a unbelievable job!  Always foam hats off to these guys!

 To Those who did not make it last year please check out the 2009 Video from Chief Rick Monyahan from the Alaska Chapter below and also some great links to the 2010 convention and Wildwood

http://youtube.com/BATT49AK  Convention

http://www.njfireexpo.com/    Five Mile Beach Fireman's

http://www.wildwoodsnj.com/ Wildwood Information

Direct from Chief Pu of the Tokyo Battalion please review the following link of fire training center Tokyo !

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pv4_T9ndIo4

The 2009 IAFFC convention held in conjunction with the New Jersey Fireman's Convention was FANTASTIC! Are Foam hat's off to the Five Mile Beach Fireman's Association for another incredible weekend! You guys are the best! The parade went off without a hitch, the weather was perfect and the crowds huge! Could not have been better. This year the 132nd Firefighters News which is the official publication for the New Jersey convention took in a little bit of the Chiefs. Cape May Herald reporter Jim Vanore caught up with the Chiefs a few weeks back and did a fantastic story on the Chiefs and how we were founded. Nice job Jim, WE LOVED IT! People from all over were stopping by for pictures, war stories and a cold one. A special welcome to Chief Rick Monyahan, who heads up our Pacific North West. Rick ( BAT 49) flew all the way in from Alaska (boy are his arm's sore) just to party with the boy's at Fake Fire Headquarters. Great to see him. Rick also took some great pictures that we will be posting shortly. Everyone had a blast! Foam hat's off to Five Mile Beach Boy's and the Wildwood's communities for a fantastic week at the beach! We can not wait until next year !

  

Attention Chiefs,

It is with great pleasure the we announced that the three missing Chiefs have all been located thanks to a well thought out plan by Chief Hugh Knutz. Chief Knutz was awarded the prestigious IAFFC Putz-Puller award for valor at Sundays pancake breakfast. Over thirty Chiefs came to congratulate Chiefs Knutz for the double secret rescue he preformed late Friday night. Not many details of the rescue were available however we know it involved a used Bell Atlantic truck, five pounds of Hershey's syrup, a manhole cover, a BBQ grill and a stripper. No other questions were ask and the medal was awarded to Chief Knutz by President Mike Boyce as well as other members of the Board Of Defectors. Luckily  Madam Zelda was on site fixing our vacuum and was able to change the four Chiefs back to their almost normal human bodies and was paid ninety seven dollars ( 85.00 for the vacuum and 12.00 for voodoo) in cash and the within moments the four volunteers were back. Also new this year the Chief's practice the very familiar "GET ON THE GROUND AND DON'T YOU MOVE" technique as a group in hopes of getting everyone processed ,bailed out and back to the party faster. As usual this went well into the night.  The count down is on ! Visit www.njfireexpo.com &  www.wildwoodsnj.com for more information. We will see you in Wildwood, that's Burke and New Jersey for the departmentally challenged!

All Chiefs,

 We are extremely concerned with our Double Secret Convention Commandos activity. It seems that three of our recently voodooed Chiefs that were sent to scout the parade area are missing.  Chiefs  Zoup, Knutz, and Hogg have not checked in the Fake Fire Headquarters in days. More concerning were these pictures retrieved from Lead Agent Kit T. Witty's extremely small cell phone when he reported in this Monday. Chief Witty could barley meow and has no idea where fellow team members could be or how these disturbing pictures got in his phone. We believe these picture were taken at a hotel on Atlantic Avenue on Saturday. Other members are scouting the area and the local A.S.P.C.A. for the missing Chiefs. Chief Witty was sent back to Wildwood to locate his team.

To update our semi normal membership. The Convention goes on as scheduled:The tents and equipment display hours: Friday 8-6 /Saturday 8-1  with the parade starting at 1pm. Hope to see everyone at Burke and New Jersey!

Update to follow.

The 2009 IAFFC Convention, held in conjunction with the New Jersey State Fireman's Convention is fast approaching. This years dates will be September 17Th, 18Th & 19Th in beautiful Wildwood New Jersey. The IAFFC Board of Defectors held it preliminary planing meeting this past Sunday at the  8Th annual  Monkey Race.  A motion was made to move our traditional parade location of Burke & New Jersey to a new location at the corner of Bangher & Leever Street's. Speaking against the motion Chief Bingo reported "It has taken years for the Chiefs Donkeys to establish a path to make our way home from our New Jersey Avenue location. The cost of establishing a new path in this economy could drain our bail fund".  A quick vote to the floor and the motion was dismissed. The Board also allocated funds for our double secret team of convention commandos and a check was issued to Madam Zelda's Vacuum Repair and Head Shrinking Service Inc. Four volunteers were dispatch and changed into local indigenous animals to sneak over the RT 47 bridge. The four heavily armed members drank all day and were fed Beef and Liver Alpo before being dropped behind the Wildwood Welcome Center. The Chiefs will sneak over the bridge and scan the area for terrorist activity and proper beach chair placement on New Jersey Avenue. We are trying to raise funds to change them back before parade time and hopefully we can understand the Chief's report if not. Remember  to book rooms early and go to www.wildwoodsnj.com  & www.gwcoc.com for more information.

The CHIEFS once again went international last week.....Welcome aboard Chief Bernard Gavin of the Wexford Fire Service of Wexford County Ireland...the "Chief" and his mates cover an area of 240 sq miles responding to about 2000 calls a year, ranging from dense city to rural coastal villages...Keep safe brothers and have a pint for your fellow chiefs all around the globe

July 19, 2009: IAFFC Tokyo Battalion Chief Kim Du Poo clearly up set over a third place trophy in the 1995-1999 E-One'a'son Engine category shows his displeasure to the members at the 2009 Fire Convention. Per Chief Poo "Riss isa catfratfasie, E-16 she no can roose, diz a bagin Rengine". Chief Poo, know for his pain discomfort due to occasional stomach upset, and still reeling from last nights Saki party let one fly to the Judges! To the thrill of other firefighters,Chief Poo was unaware of the local cigar shop on the corner where at hot ash ignited the vapor and caused a huge explosion in the street. As always, the police were called in to beat the Chief to the ground and he was order to return the First Place Trophy. Order was restored and visting IAFFC Chief Jimmy " Locked in the Seventies" Fanelli of the Midwest Chapter donated new pants for Chief Poo. He will be back in the pack shortly. Way to go Chief Poo!

A close call for Engine 103 of Florence KY. The Engine was proceeding through the intersection after stopping with lights and siren when it wasg hit by a pick up truck. The pick up went over three lanes of traffic to find the front end of Engine 101. The rescue tools on the Engine were used to free the officer.  I guess we can mark this as two runs! Glad the guys are O.K.!

The anual live tree burning took place last weekend at the home of Chief Joe Boyce. The event was kicked off with a dedication to all chiefs from Chief Dan Byrnes. The night was filled with a bounty of information exchange between both current chiefs and prospective chiefs. Although it was a smaller forum than normal the current and prospective chiefs were able to gain control and extinguish all beverages in the coolers. The nights crew had a were faced with a significant challenge including trees,shutters and what was reported as a wooden box,but all worked together to accomplish the task at hand. The drill was placed under control around 1:00AM with overhaul operations ending around 4:00AM.

We will list the next event when it is scheduled.

It's that time of the year again for the Chiefs to come together for an evening of public service. The annual tree burning exercise will be hosted by Chief Joe Boyce of West Bradford Chester County PA #39.

The informative event will cover all aspects of fire ground activities, including but not limited to the following: Scene size-up(who sits where?)...best choice of extinguishing agent(beer or bourbon?)...manpower utilization(who reloads the coolers)...mutual aid(who brings beer and bourbon)...and of course overhaul(fireground not closed until all combustibles and beverages depleted)...and much more useful information. Come share you knowledge with other Chiefs.

This is just one of several live burns hosted by Chief Boyce throughout the year...check website often for other dates.

We look forward to seeing you there...Here are some photos from previous demonstrations

Chiefs!

It has come to our attention that our members attending the parade have been wrongfully  grouped with a few rowdies at the parade. This is a complete untruth and in no way has any Chief shown any disrespect to the parade participants. We are all of duty Firefighters and Police Officers and would never go anywhere to disrespect our host.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I'll be brief...

The issue here is not that we broke a few rules or took a few liberties with our female party guest at the parade. We did.. But you can't hold a entire group of firefighters for the behavior of a few bad apples. For if you do shouldn't we blame the entire firefighting community? An if the entire firefighting community is guilty, then is this not a indictment against Firefighters in general? Well they can say what they must about us, but we are not going to sit here and let them bad mouth the United States of America! We could fight this thing with conventional weapons, but that could take years and cost thousands of lives. All fun at the parade is over? Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? And it ain't over now. This could be the greatest parade of our lives. Have fun and enjoy The Wildwoods! See you at the parade!